Grace

2009
Rated R

My Rating: 4 out of 5 bloody baby bottles

Expectation: I watched this movie of my own accord. I expected a movie about a woman who gives birth to a baby and the baby craves blood and meat and people! I'm a sucker for zombie movies. It had the ring of a B-movie, but that's no reason to hate. So, I rented it.

Date Watched: July 23, 2010

Review: Wow. Okay, so the woman’s baby dies inside of her after an accident. But, she gives birth, anyway. Then, she coaxes the baby back to life (sort of). The baby is alive, but does crave blood. Ironically, at the beginning of the movie, the woman is vegan and likely a member of PETA. Lots of blood. It wasn’t a horror. It was very ominous, though. The acting was okay and the special effects weren’t on par. The story was original. The last scene is what is going to stick with me for a long, long time. It was expected, but to see it was still shocking. Enjoyed.

Who would I recommend this movie to? Folks who don’t want kids. Sexually active teens (to scare the hell out of them). Fans of creepy horror films.

Would I watch this movie again? Uncertain. Maybe in a few years.

* This movie gets an Arbie Award for Most Fly Traps Used in a Single Scene

20 centimetros (20 centimeters)

(Spain)
2005
Rated Unrated

My Rating: 4 out of 5 unwated penises

Expectation: Netflix was fairly certain I would like this movie. Keep in mind that I do not always listen to what Netflix has to say. All I knew from this movie is what Netflix told me this movie was about. To summarize: A narcoleptic transvestite wants to get his/her large manhood removed. There are gaudy musical numbers. So, it’s a musical about a sleepy tranny. Oh, and it’s all in Spanish. I don’t typically like musicals, but after months of this movie sitting on my queue, I couldn’t hide any more. I was curious more than anything.

Date Watched: June 4, 2010

Review: I liked it. It was bizarre, graphic and funny. I wasn’t sure until I warmed up to the characters. (Not-quite-spoiler) So, the main character is a transvestite prostitute saving cash for surgery to get a nice vagina. She’s narcoleptic so she falls asleep, and when she does the movie is a musical while she dreams. Some of the songs are in English. The acting wasn’t spot on. The lead is played by a woman and sometimes I forgot she was supposed to be a man. There is nudity: breasts, asses and prosthetic penises. The sex scenes seem graphic, but it’s all opinion. Every time I was just wanting the movie to be over, something funny or exciting happened.

Who would I recommend this movie to? If the summary of this movie is at all interesting to you; you don’t mind musicals; you can watch a very foreign film with subtitles…yes, watch this. Obviously, not a lot of people.

Would I watch this movie again? Uncertain. If I do, it won’t be soon.

* This movie gets an Arbie Award for Sassiest Fictional Neighborhood

Orphan

2009
Rated R

My Rating: 4 out of 5 creepy children

Expectation: This movie is a prime example of how movie trailers can lead you to expect certain things from a movie. I honestly expected a supernatural horror.  Specifically about vampires. I didn't expect to love it, but the cast was enticing enough for me to want to see this film.

Date Watched: August 9, 2009

Review: Like I said, I expected a supernatural horror type of flick. Turns out, it is more of a mystery suspense. I admit, I was excited to see exactly what was wrong with Esther. I was pleasantly surprised. The movie didn't feel formulaic and I enjoyed the story as well as the acting. This movie is likely more exciting if nobody ruins the ending.

Who would I recommend this movie to? I would recommend this movie to people who like thrillers. The mystery aspect is good, but the suspense was the highlight.

Would I watch this movie again? I might watch it once on DVD. Once I watched it, then my interest in watching it again suffered. But, I will watch it again to see the movie through my knowing eyes and see if I see the story differently.

* This movie gets an Arbie Award for Best Performance by Vera Farmiga and That Creepy Little Girl